Your heart deserves a medal,
Not just because it knows what’s
Right from wrong,
Because you are willing to try…
There’s a story about the Samurai novices,
Who desire to walk the path of the Master warrior,
It centers around a gigantic Samuari sword,
Laid upon it’s side, the job of the novices,
…is to walk the samurai sword.
They climb up on the platform beside
…the mighty Samurai sword on it’s side,
They look down ahead and see,
The Masters walking deliberately…calmly
…and purposely upon the Samurai sword.
With their hearts in their hands, they set off,
Careful step after step…usually after the second
…or third, step, they lose their balance and fall…
Saying “Oh why did I even try? I’m no good!” as
The more experienced novices urged them to get back up again…
They try again, once again, to lose their balance on the
Second or third step again, falling down to say to themselves
…all manner of self hate, self flagellation, self criticism…
…you know what I mean.
Then, dejected, demoralised, discouraged, they’d wait a couple of days
Before they’d try again…the same result would occur,
The second or third step…and again they’d lose their balance and nerve,
Falling to the ground, swearing at them selves, the pitch, tone
and severity of their language increasing each time they fell off.
They’d try again in a week…the same.
They’d give up for a month, then get up the nerve to try again,
The same would happen.
Sometimes the gap spead out to a year…the same.
But, if they only looked closer at the Masters, up ahead…
Walking step by step, steady determined and focus,
Something to see. Impressive…
…they would notice, every second or third step,
The Master’s too would fall…
…the only difference being,
They’d get back up on the sword so fast,
No-one ever noticed.
That’s the difference you know, that’s the path
You follow, when you free yourself from addiction,
It’s a process of continual failure…a process of facing…
Your broken, imperfect self,
Your weak, addicted, hopeless self…
The Catholics have four Patron Saints of ….”Hopeless, Impossible and Desperate Cases”.
Their name are Saint Jude, Saint Rita, Saint Gregory and Saint Philomina, and their gig, I think,
…is the most compassionate and loving one of all.
You see, a lack of self-compassion is what gets you hooked,
What gets you started…
To whatever in the first place – it’s the beginning and end of
A circular lesson, where you have to see the mountain as
…not the mountain, before you can see the mountain, clearly as
Your decision to try again…is an act of compassion
To yourself, it’s you backing yourself, it’s you believing you
deserve better than what you’ve been allowing,
That you have the will power and the strength to
Get back to who you are again…and the irony is…
You have to give yourself the compassion you were
Too stingy to give yourself at the beginning of the circle,
So the compassion you give, is the compassion you need, that
You stop giving the moment you retrieve who you are again…
It’s the lesson of compassion – the gift you had to give yourself
All the time on the rocky road you’ve been travelling upon.
A woman was walking along the beach, picking up pippies stranded on the shore,
Doomed to be eaten, by winged, walking and scuttling beasts of prey,
There were thousands…and yet she still kept picking them up and throwing them out past the waves,
Another woman walked up and said:
“Why are you doing this? There’s thousands of them – You can’t make a difference!”
The woman smiled and paused to throw another one back in.
“I just made a difference to that one!”
We all aim for perfection,
…a state that doesn’t even exist…except in our minds.
We don’t have the patience…or compassion…
For the realities of the slow, step by step nature of reality.
You can’t become an expert overnight…it takes years of patient development
Yet, this is what we expect.
This is what we demand.
This is what we crave…even though we know it’s a lie.
In our secret lives, we dream of success at every step,
When in reality, we experience failure after failure before we strike success…
It’s our inconvenient truth…that we ignore by pretending
Saints and Masters are above it all, that everything they do is
We use our Saint’s and Masters as our excuse for not even trying,
…that’s just how it is.
So what’s that got to do with you?
How is that going to help you
get…what you really, really want in your life?
How is that going to get you started,
…on your own Samurai sword?
…on your own path of mastery?
…on your own pathway to freedom?
You tell me.
Are you willing to try again, even if you know you will fail?
Are you willing to fight a fight you will never win?
Are you willing to accept that this is what its come to…
That there is no cure…there’s no way out…except love…
Loving you. Loving you when you stand, loving you…when you fall…
It’s the self compassion – you never thought it was right for you to give,
The unconditional love, you generously give your children, but you withhold from yourself.
The patience, the understanding, the reverence, you give them freely,
But refuse to open the floodgates to you…
You have more than enough – there’s plenty to go around,
It’s just the way you are wired, your addiction is the only way you could find to cope…
Your safe cradle has turned into a noose, you feel it tightening round your neck…
So, it’s over to you…
You are the only one who needs to learn,
The lessons of love, the lessons from facing what you fleed from,
Into the arms of your addiction,
Into the arms of numbness, denial and comfort…and comfort is highly overated.
So here’s the plan:
You set yourself up to win…no cold turkey this time …
…that just makes it easy to give up for longer,
…harder to believe you have any strength,
When you wrestle your Beast, with one arm tied behind your back,
…blindfolded and standing on an unsteady plank…
No, that’s not the way to do it.
First you get some help , erect some structures around you,
…get some scaffolding and stuctures in place…
…build up your strength, give yourself a chance for success,
Then…when you are ready, you meet your paper tigers face to face…
Your body strong and your spirit high, you take it on,
Walking your own Samurai sword, walking your own beach,
…throwing the pipis back in, building your self compassion,
…like a new spinal chord, like a new part of you, that will endure,
When you reach your goal, that will interrupt your circular lesson,
So you cease to expect Perfection and you simply enjoy what comes,
So you love yourself like you’ve never loved before – unconditional love,
…the stuff that makes our universe roar and expand, the part that brings you…
…fellowship with your world.