Exponentials Downunder

Growing You & Your Business

Category: The Coaching Process

The One-Way Relationship of the Servant Leader

It’s the trump card every servant leader, coach or consultant has,

It’s the thing that brings out the Best from your clients, your staff and your colleagues.

It’s the thing that makes the difference,

…and its the thing that servant leaders, coaches and consultants have in common with artists,

It’s adding that thing called care.

Not just careful, but caring passionately and fully,

Without any expectation of return or reward.

It’s the fruit of the one-way relationship,

It’s the thing that’s missing with the paycheck mentality,

It’s also makes for a lousy business model, if you don’t manage it carefully,

Drawing the line between the one-way relationship and friendship,

Because, with one, you never cash in your chips,

You never expect a return;

That’s what comes with a two way relationship,

The right to expect something back…

So, if you want to have the high performance outcomes…

Of the servant leader/coach/consultant/artist…

Draw the line, maintain the boundaries and continue to give unconditionally,

Otherwise, prepare for the disappointment, embarrassment and pain of discovering,

You have indeed been playing the one-way relationship game.


Coaching from Beyond

You know, there are some people who really make a difference in your life.

Two of these in my life, have passed away.

KevinFirstly, my mentor and friend for many years, Kevin Lohan passed away last November.  He keeps making a difference in my life and my business.  Every time I hit an obstacle, I ask the question, “What would Kevin be thinking right now?”  He was a master of unraveling puzzles and he always encouraged me to think outside of my little box.

Bill Campbell 5Bill Campbell passed away last month.  He was an amazing coach with extensive CEO and Director experience who coached anyone who had a pulse in Silicon Valley.   After a while, he stopped charging for his services, saying: “Silicon Valley was good to me.”  He shows me every day, how it’s my humility,  intuition and willingness to tell the truth at the right time that takes me into the realm of being a great coach.

The reality of death is a great motivator.

However, it’s amazing the legacy that some people leave after they die.

Who is it for you, that gives you strength, doorways to new possibility and inspiration who has passed away.

It’s good to remember the people whose shoulders you stand upon.

How to distract yourself from being distracted

You ask yourself a question that raises your awareness of your current performance.

This distracts your ego from trying to improve your performance consciously.  It just can’t believe you are focusing on your own current performance.  It just stands there with it’s jaw dropped.

In the case study of the tennis player who is not hitting the ball in the Sweet spot 2“sweet spot” of the racket, a traditional sports coach would be analysing the players placement in regards to the ball at the time of the swing, coaching the player to change their technique of placement.

The Inner Game coach would ask the player: “I’ll hit a ball to you and I want you to tell me Tim Gallweywhere the ball hits your racket.”

“You mean you want me to tell you when I hit the sweet spot?” asks the player.

“No, I just want you to concentrate on telling me where the ball actually hits your racket.”


Ball comes: “on the bottom half”, Ball comes: “Top half”, Ball comes: “On the left center”, Ball comes: “Centre”, Ball comes: “Centre” Ball comes: “Centre” Ball comes: “Centre”

The player’s “Being” intelligence, sorts it out, without technique, without conscious effort, while the ego is confounded, out of your game.

How much of your performance is being subverted and limited by your inner ego’s domination  of your game?

relaxed, reclining Mike

Who is running your life anyhow? Would you really put yourself through all of this…if you had the choice? Find out by emailing me.

How the Inner Game of Golf influences us

Back in the 1970’s Timothy Gallwey wrote a book that revolutionised    sports coaching called the Inner Game of THe inner game of golfGolf.

In the 1980’s and 90’s Timothy found himself coaching more business and political leaders than sports athletes and he pretty much founded the executive, business and life coaching industries.

His approach focuses on raising your awareness of whatever task you are performing, trusting on the Socratic principle that “All the answers to any problem we have lies within.  The trick is how to unlock those answers.”The inner games

At the heart of the Inner Game methodology are three principles:

  1. Non-judgemental awareness
  2. Trust in one’s self
  3. The exercise of free choice

People can learn to overcome their own obstacles, in the process of life itself.  The individual possesses intelligence beyond our “Ego” that self-corrects and learns how to perform with excellence.Timothy Gallwey

He describes our ego as being like having a teenager in our head, who has read a couple of books and thinks they know everything.  This ego is like a 10c computer trying to dominate and teach “your being”, which is like a billiion dollar computer, how to do things.

He says our ego loves “How To’s” and techniques.  This is how traditional golf coaches used to coach.  You’d learn the “Classic” technique for your swing – and it would be the same for everyone.

Timothy states that everyone has a unique swing of our own, that we have developed on our own.  He sees the process of learning as accelerated by raising the learner’s awareness of what they are doing.

This is not just about golf, Ladies and Gentlemen.

He inspires not only me, but another pioneer of the executive coaching field, racing driver turned performance consultant expert;  Sir John Sir John WhitmoreWhitmore who wrote:

“In every human endeavor there are two arenas of engagement: the outer and the inner. The outer game is played on an external arena to overcome external obstacles to reach an external goal.

The inner game takes place within the mind of the player and is played against such obstacles as fear, self-doubt, lapses in focus, and limiting concepts or assumptions.

The inner game is played to overcome the self-imposed obstacles that prevent an individual or team from accessing their full potential”

Hey don’t get me started – I love this stuff!

My intention in this post is to inform you of some of the basic principles that are enabling us to perform at completely different levels than we previously imagined. 

This is indeed part of the current Human Species evolution.

relaxed, reclining Mike

You probably don’t need to know the incredible history of the coaching process – the true test of the pudding is in the eating of it. Have a taste – email me.